Musings…
Getting a diagnosis for a Neurological condition is a lot to get your head around (excuse the pun), at any age.
When you’re a burnt out menopausal 51 yr old single Mum of two it’s even harder.
Roll on 21 months and wow my life has changed!
I mean changed beyond recognition.
Here’s what I mean.
People have come into my life that I couldn’t have imagined knowing pre diagnosis. People who get me, and allow me to be the woman I was born to be. I’m not too loud, or chatty, or dramatic, or flakey for them. And being your true authentic self is sooo important, Neurodivergent or otherwise.
I no longer burn out so frequently. I plan each week carefully. I look at heavy work days and schedule in plenty of self care around them. My mental and physical health are my utmost priorities these days, and if it means I have to say no to stuff then so be it.
I have created an awesome morning routine, that when I stick to, means I have most productive, fulfilling and happiest days. No phone for an hour and half and no caffeine for the first 2 hours until I’ve exercised and done my house jobs. I don’t leave my bedroom until the bed is made, and the room is tidy. No floordrobe, or stuff cluttering up my beautiful bedroom. I treat it like a sanctuary.
I discovered Somatic Yoga which has been totally eye opening and I’m hooked on. I adore the feeling of moving my body and really listening to what my breath is telling me to do. I store a lot of tension in my hips and Piriformis areas, and I’ve learned to release it which feels incredible.
I no longer self medicate with a bottle of NZ Sauv Blanc or a G&T every evening.
I take care of my Gut. I eat as cleanly as possible.
I have learned to love my own company and no longer dread weekends alone, pottering about, walking, cooking, baking, watching movies with the cat.
There are still times when I struggle. But those are the times when I’m kindest to myself. I still cry occasionally when I think of all the lost and confused years when I didn’t even know what emotional dysregulation was. All the unfulfilled and unfinished projects and opportunities, and messed up relationships.
But to regret things is a waste of energy. We can’t change what’s in the past, we can only do the best with the here and now. And every time I’m struggling I remind myself that the bad days pass, and I really do have so much to be grateful for.
Love Sarah x