The 150% Club
Welcome to the 150% Club.
It’s an exclusive members only club where you need to fulfil an extensive list of criteria to apply.
Membership is for life once accepted.
Please read the following list of members requirements and apply within.
Are you a consummate people pleaser who goes above and beyond to make sure everyone else is happy before yourself?
Do you habitually take on way more than you can handle even though you know you have little or no chance of fulfilling your obligations?
When presented with a new task/project/hobby do you throw yourself into it with the energy of a 10 year old who’s just gained free entry to Disneyland?
Do you focus so hard on the above list that you forget to eat/drink/pee, and lose all track of time?
Do you feel that even though you are giving more than a Neurotypical person to a task that you are still not doing enough and falling short?
Do you have trouble seeing any of the things you do as being ‘Good enough?’
Do you slam into imaginary brick walls like a Honda Civic travelling over the speed limit who’s brakes have failed, and end up sofa bound for a few days to recover? (if you can binge watch more than one series of a new show on Netflix during this time you may be eligible for ‘Gold Member’ status.)
Welcome to the 150% Club.
Once I’d got my head around ADHD and all the idiosyncrasies that come with being Neurodivergent I realised something.
It’s not that we are failing, or falling short in any way at all.
We’re just setting the bar so bloody high that it’s almost impossible to reach it most of the time.
Our ‘Good Enough’ is set at 150%, instead of 100%. (or even 99% which is where it should be). The demands we set on ourselves are way bigger than our Neurotypical brethren.
So when we fail to scale Everest when we really should have just attempted Snowdon, because it’s more realistic, we automatically see ourselves as broken, or deficient in some way.
Maybe we just need to lower the bar.
Maybe we need to recognise that the effort we put in really is enough. We just do it on a different time scale to others. They take 3 days to do stuff that we can do in 8 hours.
So if you’re a busy working Mum who has to pop to Tesco for shop bought cupcakes at 8am on a bake sale day it’s really no biggie. (Not that I EVER did that obvs).
Or you have to say no to helping a friend who wants to cry down the phone about her shitty boyfriend on a Friday evening when you’re wiped out. Then say no. (maybe just be polite about that one and be honest. If your own cup is empty then you won’t have much to give anyway).
Managing our own massively high standards and expectations of our ADHD selves is SUPER hard, but with small steps you can learn to take it down a few percent.
Set realistic goals and write them down if that helps.
If timers don’t work then rope in a friend to help and ask them to check in with a text message during a busy work day when you’re hyperfocusing and sitting cross legged. (When did you last pee? kind of message)
Be strict with your day. If you got up early and started earlier than normal, then clock off earlier. There’s very little that can’t wait 24 hours and the world won’t stop turning I promise you.
I think I’m an Elite member of the 150% Club for lots of reasons. I had a strict Mother who was super critical, and I always wanted to please her and not make her cross. #goodgirlsyndrome.
I was a professional ballet dancer, and that probably needs no further explanation.
But the older and wiser I get I know that I never fall short in anyone elses eyes but my own.
And that’s slowly changing the more I love and look after myself.
This week has been a 150% kind of a week, and it’s now 2pm on Friday afternoon, so I’m clocking off and heading out for some much needed sunshine and self care time.
Love Sarah x