Reflecting…

It’s hard to believe we are halfway through the year already. Maybe it’s because Summer seems to be taking such a long time to appear, but June has been hard so far!

For me anyway..

The buoyancy and excitement of the last 6 months or so has taken a subtle turn, and I’ve found myself struggling to maintain momentum and enthusiasm. 

It’s not burnout. I know what that feels like, this is different.

It’s like a slow fog that starts to roll in from the distance, threatening to envelope everything as it lingers unwelcomingly on the skin. Cold and flat.

I know enough about ADHD now that it’s possibly the danger zone us creative Neurospiceys find ourselves in when the novelty has worn off, and we need our next hit of Dopamine from something new and shiny. 

My mood has been low for about a week. Apathetic is probably a good word to use.

I felt my routine slipping away from me and have spent way too many hours comparing myself to others on social media. (PUT THE PHONE DOWN SARAH!!). Looking at other women smashing it with their own businesses, whilst I feel like a failure. 

 I even bought a giant Toblerone against my better judgement and ate it all in 2 days. 

The strange thing is that LLO is all about support, community, inclusion and not feeling like you’re on your own. And yet I haven't once spoken up and reached out to anyone. Even with all my knowledge, wisdom and insight into ADHD and Mental Health I have found it hard to say…’Help…I’m struggling’. 

I absolutely love helping other people, but still find myself being a burden when the shoe is on the other foot.

And I’ve reflected on this a lot over the last few days. 

Because the simple truth is that nobody has their shit together totally.

The captivating and bubbly social media posts and adverts are really just that. 

It’s advertising at the end of the day.

We’re all just trying to do the best we can and make the best out of our short time on earth. 

We all struggle from time to time. Sometimes it’s just for a brief moment, and sometimes it lasts for days. 

I’ve managed to shake the fog off my skin. It hasn't been easy, but if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have found the inspiration and energy to write this blog post. 

I have been kind to myself. I have allowed myself to be human. 

But I’ve also told myself that if I don't do all the things I know are good for my mind, body and soul, then I am in real danger of sliding back to a place I’ve been before. And never want to go again. 

I’m practising some amazing Somatic Yoga routines to release stored up tension and trauma. I’m getting fresh air and much needed Vitamin D, and enjoying being outside in nature. (Thank goodness it’s finally warming up!)

And I am saying to myself at regular intervals that despite how I may be feeling right now, “This too shall pass” , and I am loved. 

And that’s all I need to know.

Sarah x